Tuesday, November 13, 2018

2019 CALENDAR ~~~ "THE VULGAR MONTHS" - 12 signs of the ZODIAC !!!!

HAY what's your sign BABY???

- 2019 - 

all the signs of the zodiac, rendered in cardboard and photoshop, delineated in traditional circular date bubbles
AKA 
the first all original by the originators biz&suzanne calendar since 2017***!!!!
(***woah, but did you even SEE the calendar last year??? some really beautiful wacky weird perfect remixes by our talented friends!)


IT's true in 2017 we didn't bridge the space time rift between OR and ME but....
IN 2018 we DID IT TWICE!!!


the raw materials at the Belfast transfer station pre zodiacal alchemy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


TO CELEBRATE we've made the theme of this year's calendar
THE ENTIRE ZODIAC!!!!! 


GET your copy today.
you will love it ~~~ it's in the STARS!

COMES in THREE SIZES:

REGULAR
just the calendar babe, delivered to you.
one copy $15

CLICK ON THIS SPACE HAND OF DESITINY to go to PayPal to order a plain calendar for $15



or....you may select
LARGER//DELUXER
option:

YOUR BIRTHDAY INSCRIBED UPON THE 2019 CALENDAR
AND
>>special for this year!<<
if you provide us with your birthdate, time and place
we will hip you to your ASTROLOGICAL
SUN SIGN ** MOON SIGN **AND RISING SIGN!
(if you already know this info - of course you do!- it's still really your time to shine upon your birthday for all to see!)
ONLY $25
cheap!
click on the pretty ladies of astrology below



FINALLY the OPTION YOU've been waiting for:
2019 calendar
*with your birthday!*
&
sun sign*moon sign*rising sign
AND
a one-of a kind ultra rare
astrological ARTIFACT
made of painted cardboard
$35
just click on the butterfly hand of your 
DESTINY



~~~~~~so excited to be BACK!~~~~
see ya soon
LOVE 
biz n zoo

Saturday, November 18, 2017

2018 CALENDAR REMIX order yours today!!!!

Hello friends, time lords, calendar fam:v\
we've got some good news and some bad news.....

Bad news first, kay? Suzanne & Biz won't be reuniting in the physical space/time this year to create next year's calendar. Time is too short and the distance between Maine and Oregon too long. (sad face) (here's a tissue) (sorry)


BUT NOW FOR THE GOOD NEWS!!! 
We've BEEN CREATING THE CALENDAR FOR 1,000,000 years!!!!!///??** we've created cardboard infrastructure to animate nearly a trillion*** or so scenes of absurdity and hysteria.

ANNNNND we have like a bunch of super creative friends.
SOOOOOoooooooooo.....

this year we came up with the idea for A GREATEST HITS CALENDAR REMIX MASH_UP. And we've asked a bunch of guest artists of all persuasions to reinterpret classic calendar scenes for your amusement and time management.

SOMETHING NEW! sure to surprise and delight you. SOMETHING OLD!remembering the mystery of the passage of time. and the weird times we wore panty hose on our heads.

so don't wait!!! order your 2018 calendar today!!!!
CLICK ON THE LINKS BLOW to be taken to PAYPal to order from the following options


STANDARD CALENDAR; no bells or whistles, $15


click on the INTREPID POLAR EXPLORERs below to go to PAYPAL and order your plain jane 2018 CALENDAR remix for only $15
full color!
front back and sides!
timeless for less than 4 cents a day

 click here     |    |     |     |     |      |      |      |       |     |
                   V   V   V   v    v     V    v     v     V   V




OR PERHAPS YOU WOULD CHOSE TO have the whole world SING WITH YOU?
on your birthday that is!!!

YOUR BIRTHDAY PUBLISHED ON THE CALENDAR  $25
(best value) 
$25 to have your birthday published on the 2018 calendar
click upon the orange julius scare eye escalator GIF to order your BIRTHDAY version of the 2018 calendar remix     
 click here     |    |     |     |     |      |      |      |       |     |
                   V   V   V   v    v     V    v     v     V   V

FINALLY!!! the BIGGEST MOST EXTREME CALENDAR OPTION!

CALENDAR PLUS BIRTHDAY PLUS ANCIENT ARTIFACT
you can order
1 calendar
WITH your BIRTHDAY
AND an ancient artifact of vanished alien calendar cultures****
RARE,
ULTRA RARE
click below, $50, punks  

 click here     |    |     |     |     |      |      |      |       |     |
                   V   V   V   v    v     V    v     v     V   V





what a wonderful time to ponder the past as we move into the FUTURE. in collaboration, off leash, amongst the star.


as always, love ya lots
BIS AND ZOO


**or maybe 13? or 13,000,000? who can even keep track anymore?
***no, not exaggerating
****for entertainment purposes only

Sunday, December 4, 2016

2017 CALENDAR _ a primordial OOOZE: get it!

FROM THE SWIRLING DARK CHAOS CAME'
the 2017 Calendar
MADE IN MAINE _ going WORLDWIDE
we've re-enacted the creation of everything over and over again, keeping the cardboard wheels of fortune rolling
SEE IT IN MOTION>>>>>>

CLICK ON THE CREATION FROM THE VACUUM (to be taken to paypal to buy a) NO HOLDS BARRED standard classic 2017 calendar for $15! which in my opinion is an excellent price.
v    v    v    v    v    v      v     v     v      v    v    v     v    v    v     v    v    v    v     v     v    v    v    v   v





LET GO ALL THE SNAKES FOR A BIG BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION!!!!
click below to have your birthday added to the calendar for $25 only! (be sure to submit your birthdate and preferred name in the 'comments to seller' section of paypal)
YOU WILL NEVER REGRET CLICKING ON THE MAN RELEASING THE SNAKES




WEIGH IN ON THE XUNIVERSAL PUZZLE ___ WHICH CAME FIRST___ BELOW!!
click on the spiralling chicken n egg to purchase
A 2017 CALENDAR
WITH YOUR BIRTHDAY
AND a CARBOARD MEMENTO!!!
(for only $35 whatta steal for infinity!)


finally:
for $50?
A 2017 CALENDAR
with your own personal BIRTHDAY
and CARDBOARD MEMENTO
plus we'll remind you once a month to change your calendar!
THIS COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE
just click on the primordial soup, can.




THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOYAL SUPPORT OF THE CALENDAR PROJECT
LUV YA< MEAN IT!


(clicking on the animated gifs above will take you to paypal)(if you prefer not to use paypal e mail me at dearbiz@yahoo.com and we can make alternative arrangements!)

Monday, November 23, 2015

ORDER YOUR 2016 CALENDAR TODAY for ALL OF YOUR TOMORROWS

i can hardly believe it, it's that time again!





CLICK ON THE ORANGE JULIUS TO ORDER YOUR 2016 calendar -no frills attached-for $15





CLICK ON THE CATS LICKING A BIRTHDAY CAKE for a 2016 calendar
PLUS your name on your birthday for $25 - best value! you won't regret it!
go ahead splurge!  you deserve it!







CLICK ON THE ALIENS RUNNING AWAY FROM A SHOPPING CART
to get your 2016 calendar
PLUS your name on your birthday
PLUS a one of a kind cardboard memento used in the creation of the 2016 calendar
you can't put a price on beauty! and this option will only cost you $35!!!



CLICK ON THE DANCING PIZZA & CHICKEN DRUMSTICK to order your
2016 calendar 
PLUS your name on your birthday 
PLUS a one-of-a-kind cardboard memento 
PLUS monthly reminders to change your calendar pages!!!! 
for the low low price of $50 USD!
XOXXOXO



(clicking on the pictures will take you to paypal!)

Thursday, November 13, 2014

FINALLY LOL!!! YOU CAN ORDER YOUR 2015 calendar!!!!!!!

HEy check out the options below to get your own copy of next year's calendar:
(the photos are links that will lead you to paypal to make a secure payment!xox)

PLAIN VANILLA





VANILLA WITH SPRINKLES:
a calendar, plus YOUR NAME on your birthday!

p.s. don't forget to write your birthdate and how you'd like your name to appear in the "notes to seller" section of paypal, thanks!



BANANA SPLIT:
A calendar, plus your name on your birthday, plus a ONE OF A KIND CARDBOARD MEMENTO USED IN THE FILMING OF THE MOVIE CALENDAR "2015 CALENDAR" !! $35usd


p.s. don't forget to write your birthdate and how you'd like your name to appear in the "notes to seller" section of paypal, thanks!


THE JIM DANDY! 
all of the above plus a personalized reminder each and every month that a new month has arrived and YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR CALENDAR PAGE! (xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox)a mere $50! That's only 7.3 cents a day. (Try to buy a coffee with THAT......)

p.s. don't forget to write your birthdate and how you'd like your name to appear in the "notes to seller" section of paypal, thanks! ALSO YOUR PREFERRED CONTACT METHOD(EMAIL OR TEXT)






okey dokey. all of the above links lead to paypal where you can make a secure payment. let me know if it's confusing or wonky. i am not a natural at this.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

HOW TO GET YOUR HANDS ON THE 2015 calendar

2015calendar order form coming soon! xoxox check back in the next few days! Same prices and rewards as always! because we love you!

hilarious cat struggles

this year's pep rally fundraiser video. thank you frances for the fancy footwork camerawork.